The Power of Friendship And Other Not-Useless Things
by SoSaysL
Summary: "As you can see," Light says, "Death is clearly irrelevant to taking over the world." Through imaginary chess matches, the usual plotting and scheming, and psychotic laughter sessions, two masterminds find that there's a much better option than being enemies. [Twelve Shots of Summer]


[A/n] Written for the Symbiosis prompt of the Twelve Shots of Summer Challenge: a fun-filled escapade to enliven your summer through timed challenges and great feedback from other writers.

Anyway, Light and Lelouch don't have to be enemies. Behold, the power of friendship!

Well, maybe they're a bit more serious about it than that.

* * *

"You dead?"

"Probably."

"Me too."

"Okay."

...

* * *

They have no way to measure the passage of time. At one point, two strangers had found each other in this strange world of dry dust, and decided there was nothing to lose from not wandering off in opposite directions. Eventually, they found themselves talking. For very different reasons, of course.

Light, because he wanted to begin strategizing a plan as soon as possible, and voicing his thoughts aloud could only help the process.

Lelouch, because he was lonely and wanted someone to talk to.

* * *

"So you had the world in your palm," Light says, careful to keep his voice even, "and now you're here because you just couldn't stand being global emperor. Right."

Lelouch immediately bristles at the sarcasm in Light's tone, but no irritation shows in his features. He leans back, as comfortably as he can against one of what seems to be giant teeth protruding from the barren landscape. "It was my final intent. Besides, I don't know if you did much better," Lelouch shrugs. "To me, it looks as if you almost succeeded, but then got beaten by a kid. Who likes playing with puppets."

"Carelessness," Light says, gaze focused on the unending grey sky above the horizon. Usually he never admit his mistakes, but here he has nothing to lose. "Even the best of us fall prey to it. Don't tell me _you_ never made mistakes."

"I did cause a giant shooting spree and come out of the fiasco looking like a saint," Lelouch admits.

Light is silent. _He regards that as a mistake? No, such a maneuver is brilliant. I'd dearly love to know how he managed it._

"But then again," Lelouch says lightly, "we were rather similar back when we were alive, weren't we? Even down to the silly mistakes."

"I don't know about _mistakes,"_ Light replies. "Had I not made that one misstep, I would have reigned as the god of the new world. No more crime."

"Surely you don't mean your goal was _world peace_?" Lelouch raises an eyebrow, a slight flash of contempt in his violet eyes. "Who are you, a beauty pageant contestant?"

"Well," Light says, deflecting the added barb, "you seemed to work towards the same goal. That aside, I worked in near isolation and, after scheming around several roadblocks, achieved a lasting global impact on crime and violence. From what you say, your advantage lay in the huge army in your command and in the powerful group of followers willing to do your bidding."

"True, true. C.C. was also helpful," Lelouch muses.

"The green-haired witch, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"I had Ryuk," Light sighs. "The winged Shinigami who wouldn't stop smiling. Creepily. And he just watched the whole time."

Lelouch watches with clear sympathy. "Surely he did something to help?"

"Quite the opposite," Light says darkly.

"Oh."

* * *

The gloomy land is altogether too depressing. A veiled mist hovers over the cracked, dark grey ground, which is littered with miscellaneous, jagged shapes in the distance - as if ancient ruins, or the skeletons of grand creatures that have long since fallen. But perhaps it's fitting for the non-life after death.

"Anyway," Lelouch says out of nowhere. "It's all in the dust now."

Light just looks at him.

...Even though it's irrational and very impossible, he thinks he might have just heard crickets chirping in the distance.

"What?" Lelouch demands, gesturing at the woefully dry landscape surrounding them. "Don't you get it?"

Light stares at Lelouch, and then gives a low chuckle at the other's obvious ineptitude at joke-telling.

"Ah-ha-ha!" Lelouch adds, as if to make up for his lack of humor and say, _you can do better._

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Light returns, with an extra burst of grandeur.

"MWHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Suddenly, Lelouch's laughter has deepened into evil genius territory.

Light leans forward, a hand on his knee, and stands. There is no way to execute a proper laugh while being seated. Lelouch nods approvingly and follows suit. The two of them share a glance, and suddenly their combined psychotic laughter is booming, harsh and terrifying, across the flat plains of nowhere-land.

Had a bystander wandered past, they might have been stricken into terror at the thought that there were not one of these diabolical guffaws echoing menacingly in the stagnant air, but _two_, and that if two such unhinged masterminds happened to be in cohorts...

...well, then, any unsuspecting territory to be conquered - namely, the world - was done for.

Light, fists clenched and voice raised in the mirth of mad genius, looks over at Lelouch and finds him panting, clearly out of air. Light shakes his head, but allows the last ringing of their devastating laughter to fade.

Lelouch says, a little breathlessly, "And Nunnally always said I was weird."

"No, it's therapeutic," Light says matter-of-factly. "And it lets _everyone_ within a mile-radius know not to mess with you."

* * *

"We should walk somewhere. There's a sense of futility to sitting here forever."

Lelouch considers. "But what's the point?"

"If we stay here, at least we increase our statistical odds of finding something," Light points out.

"Sure," Lelouch shrugs. He gets up, dusts himself off, and begins walking.

"Wait," Light says, rising quickly. "There are several factors to consider in deciding a direction. The placement of geographical landmarks, the position of the lighting and the likelihood of encountering other dead, and-"

"So you consider these odd giant teeth to be a landmark."

"For our purposes."

"Oh, just come on!"

Light doesn't know why, but he obliges and soon they are walking side by side, leaving a trail of footprints in the grey sand.

* * *

"What was your power again?"

"I could kill people with my notebook," Light says wistfully, sounding much too nostalgic for someone describing a murdering machine. "Of course, there are several technicalities, but that's the main gist. Yours?"

"With eye contact, anyone will obey my command. Except I can only use it once per person."

"What I wouldn't have given for that," Light says. "My problems would have been over in a flash. Had I your capabilities, I could have ordered my greatest rivals into submission."

"It's not as fun as you think," Lelouch says dryly.

Light gives him a surprised look, but they are silent after that.

* * *

"That was a bad move," Lelouch chuckles. "Counting on a gambit to save us now, are we?"

"This is no gambit," Light says, matching him word-for-word in confidence. "It seems you're a little sure of yourself, doesn't it?"

The two are sitting across from each other, both cross-legged. In the fine, motionless sand, an eight-by-eight chessboard with symbols for each piece has been painstakingly drawn.

Lelouch is the chessmaster, but Light has found the game much to his liking. They play the game for long hours, and for once Light is glad that time is irrelevant.

* * *

But they always keep walking.

* * *

"Do you ever find yourself fantasizing?"

Light looks warily over at Lelouch and finds his companion's his elbows are propped on his knees, his gaze distant. "About what?"

When Lelouch doesn't reply, Light adds, "Well, actually, I do. About reigning over the new world as a god, about the time I nearly had it all, about how I would have led the world in the path of peace. It would have been perfect had it not been for those meddling kids."

Lelouch shoots him an annoyed look. "I meant about food."

"We're _dead._ We're not supposed to be hungry," Light says, feeling miffed.

"That doesn't mean I can't think about food. You know, I think that C.C.'s love for pizza rubbed off on me. She kept using my credit card to order pizza," _- how annoying_, Light thinks, _almost as bad as Misa - "_and I'm pretty sure that everyone at Pizza Hut thought I was a pizza fanatic. I'm not, I'm really not, but it _has_ been a really long time since I've had a slice."

Light buries his face in his hands. This guy is supposed to be a brilliant mastermind, and he can't even string together two coherent thoughts about world domination.

"Okay."

* * *

As he listens to their laughter echo ominously, Lelouch decides that psychotic laughter sessions are, indeed, therapeutic.

* * *

"Do you ever think that we're here for a reason?"

"Uh, I don't know," Light replies. "Maybe because we're dead?"

"Partly," Lelouch continues, seeming not to notice the sarcasm. He studies what seems to be a half-collapsed building in the distance. "But if you think about it, we're similar even beyond the surface. We both rose to power at terrible costs. Maybe, Light, this is purgatory. I have always believed that if you kill, you must be willing to be killed. Perhaps we're here to atone for our crimes."

"Are you suggesting that I'm a criminal?"

"Well, when you put it that way-"

"I am not a criminal. I am JUSTICE!"

"Maybe we're not that similar after all," Lelouch mutters under his breath.

* * *

"Imagine that we're both in the same world," Light says grandly, his hands in his pockets. Their feet raise tiny dust clouds on the cracked ground. They have been walking for what might have been days, but neither feel tired in the slightest. Lelouch thinks that this is a significant improvement and that never losing energy would have helped hugely in Gym class.

"Well," Lelouch says, "it's a good thing we come from alternate timelines... different worlds, in fact. For one, we'd probably be mortal enemies. And I'd hate to be yours."

"Likewise. But ah-ha! Us as enemies? That's what everyone would expect. If we joined forces, however, we would be unstoppable."

Lelouch smiles. "Sounds like a plan. I use my Geass to make everyone love us, and you kill anyone who resists."

"Was that a joke?"

"I tried, alright?"

"No, Lelouch, I'm serious. My powers in conjunction with yours would have meant true world peace in any timeline."

"As long as I can persuade you not to kill cat burglars, I think we'd be good."

"I killed those who were evil, Lelouch. Tell me you didn't do the same."

A weighty pause. "I did. And then some." Lelouch closes his eyes. Countless soldiers put guns to their heads at his command - and there _she_ is, dying with his name on her lips - and there _he_ is, the one who had deceived Lelouch all along and yet sacrificed it all for him in the end - and there _they_ are, hatred in their eyes and disappearing before him - and others, the ones he has killed with his Geass as surely as if he had put a bullet through their hearts.

"So did I."

Light does not see a kaleidoscope of remembrances, but only one memory, vivid and clear as it combs through his mind. And it is of the rain, of the endless rain drowning out his thoughts, and of a painful question in the pale grey light.

_Can't you hear the bells?_

* * *

"Your offense is as weak as ever. I don't know if it's so wise to leave your queen completely exposed."

"My queen? Exposed? I'd advise you look at your own king before making _that_ judgement."

Another chess match. Except this time, there is no chessboard in the sand. They walk side-by-side, lost in conversation.

"Knight to G5," Lelouch says.

"How bold," Light answers. "I hate to say it, but that move is bit too risky, you know."

They are playing the game completely in their minds.

* * *

"Lelouch," Light begins. "Let's say we decide to cleanse the world of evil together. How would you go about it?"

"Are we in my world or yours?"

"Let's say mine."

"First things first, establish an enigmatic, masked identity that will inevitably rouse popular support," Lelouch nods to himself. "Spread awareness through the public with daring acts of rebellion that will threaten perpetrators of evil."

"Don't you think it's a good idea to figure out which evil we're fighting against? Are we acting on a small scale or a large scale - against the criminals committing crimes or the regimes committing systemic violence?"

"Both," Lelouch says. And with that begins a long, detailed conversation about exactly how the two would work towards world peace. They are careful to address each foreseeable contingency. Lelouch assumes that he no longer has C.C. to aid him, and they consider two scenarios: one in which Light has his Death Note, and one without.

But for all their careful plotting, a sense of melancholy has stolen into Lelouch's steps, for he knows that they will never, ever have the chance to use these plans.

* * *

They are silent. Light is squatting in the dust, tracing a name in the sand.

"I wish I had some pizza," Lelouch says forlornly, looking at the never-ending horizon.

Light sighs.

Time for an evil laughter session.

* * *

"I have a theory," Light says. They are still walking, and Lelouch has tired from the monotony of it but he doesn't dare say that they should stop. Because then, they'll be stuck in another nowhere.

"What is it?"

"The Shinigami always want entertainment."

"Yes."

"And they love apples."

"Yes."

"What if...what if we promise them immeasurable quantities of both, in exchange for one more chance?"

"So we ask them to drop us into another world? And then proceed to cleanse it of all evil while providing the Shinigami in question with countless apples in the process?"

"That would be one lucky death-god," Light says knowingly. "Gets tons of free apples, plus the fun of watching two geniuses work against tremendous odds towards world peace. Now that would be a tale worthy of an epic."

Lelouch begins to smile, but suddenly his face freezes. He would have screamed in a decidedly unmanly high-pitched tone had Light not elbowed him sharply in the ribs. For there is the strangest creature before them, a creature that is somewhat humanoid and hulking in appearance. It wears a huge rusted green-beaded necklace. Its yellow eyes seem to stare into Lelouch's soul, and it wears a cattle skull as a fearsome mask.

"Well," it says. "We've been watching you for a while. I gambled that you would hate each other instantly, but turns out I was wrong, eh?"

"Hello," Light answers evenly. Lelouch, meanwhile, focuses on not cowering behind Light. "I am Light, and this is Lelouch. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Hey," another voice rasps, and Lelouch lets out a strangled yelp. Light is, as always, perfectly charming as he turns towards the huge, spotted salamander-like creature that has appeared as well. Why, Lelouch wonders desperately, why do all these creatures have to have dark yellow eyes that are exactly like predatory animals?

"I said these were mine," the Shinigami says. "Shoo. I'm going to get the apples."

Lelouch looks around nervously and then there's _another_ one, wearing a Native American headdress that looks strangely out of place, and a hook fixed on its left hand. Of course, Lelouch thinks, of course it had to have those yellow eyes.

"They're dead," the latest newcomer says. "Go away, you two. There's no point in dealing with them."

"You just want all the apples to yourself," the salamander creature says. "And besides, no ordinary humans are ever _this_ interesting. World peace? Finally we'll have something to look forward to instead of endless selfies, cat mind-control, stupid oceans taking up way too much of the globe, and leaders everywhere messing things up big-time!"

"Yeah!" The hulking creature retorts. "None of the worlds are interesting anymore. We want a little entertainment."

"Oh yeah? What does the Shinigami King have to say?"

By now, Lelouch is thoroughly frightened and resorts to standing stock-still at Light's side. Light is smiling and nodding fervently as if he is at a tremendously entertaining tea party.

"Turks out even he's bored!" The salamander Shinigami says. "He allowed it!"

And suddenly the hook-handed Shinigami is interested. "Really?"

"He said he'd make it possible. You know that usually we _never _allow humans come back from the dead, but these two caused all sorts of trouble when they were alive...and putting them together for an encore is a great idea!" The salamander Shinigami turns to Light. "This had better be a good show."

Lelouch is wondering exactly what they're expecting.

Light, meanwhile, is smugly congratulating himself on his own genius.

* * *

The Shinigami continue clamoring for the chance to be the owner of these 'pets.' Lelouch, in his panic at being called a 'pet,' doesn't manage to follow most of this, but he does see that the first Shinigami - the hulking one with the silly necklace and the cattle skull mask - who arrived seems to be the one who wins the argument.

The Shinigami - its name had been Gook - produces his notebook and hands it to Light. Light smiles slowly, feeling the familiar power coursing through his veins. Lelouch is about to protest that he doesn't get one, but then he realizes that his possession of a Death Note would render their plans for achieving world peace useless. This way - Light with his strengths, Lelouch with his, is much better.

"Now," Gook says. "Which world shall we drop you into?"

"Surveying our choices would be a good idea," Lelouch answers, finally having found his voice.

But, from what the Shinigami describes, there are so many _options_ besides the regular! A magical wizarding world, a world filled with magical girls fighting evil, a tyrannical dystopian world, a sparkly vampire world, a world filled with zombies about to exterminate the human race...

...well, Lelouch didn't like the sound of zombies, and the sparkling vampire idea sounded a bit silly, but the rest were fine with him. The planning might have to be revised, but that is nothing that the two of them can't handle.

"I know how to solve this," Light says confidently. "Gook, do you have a favorite world?"

The Shinigami nods.

"I think," Light says, "_that_ should be the world that we bring peace to. And, on the condition that we succeed, you will bring us to another world where we may continue our work. So we will truly be inter-dimensional, crime-fighting masterminds."

"I see," Gook answers. "Well, then, humans. You're about to be the first in a very, very long time to come back from the dead. Hopefully this won't be too painful. And I expect a worthy show from the two of you. Understood?"

Light turns to Lelouch and sees a similar insane joy dancing through the other's eyes.

"As you can see," Light says, "Death is clearly irrelevant to taking over the world."

"Light," Lelouch says grandly. "The world? I think you mean to say, taking over the _worlds_."_  
_

_Fin_


End file.
